Offering
My anger spat at the world today. Each time I was able to remember I only have so many more seconds to live, breathe and enjoy seeing the bright blue skies above me. My anger ebbed and flowed all throughout the day until at very end it all came crashing down. A perceived threat was going to “take” what I had earned. I became enraged. I waited four years for this opportunity and now someone was just wistfully thinking out loud of taking it all away. My ego took hold and I was nearly swept away until I came to my senses.
Is this the way I wanted to spend my day? My ego had taken this very small opportunity and made it the center of my universe. I sat down in my chair knowing the gravity of the situation; the other person in this conversation was oblivious to my realization. I travel from obsession to obsession. I ruminate constantly over these obsessions whether they are idle habits or life changing events. I constantly plan for each contingency worrying myself incessantly so I was tired before waking up in the morning. Each rumination I am consumed by, each one takes away my focus from one of my three life goals and purposes.
I was able to distract myself so easily in my day-to-day events which made a mess of my life goals. The other person in the conversation now long gone from my thoughts was leaving my classroom door. They were still picking and sore about my enraged take that I was not glad they were usurping me. I looked around my classroom as their shadow left and saw all my trinkets. All my possessions no one would want when I died. As King Solomon said, What is the Point? I picked up my bag and ran towards the door. I turned off the lights without a second thought and left. I wanted clarity, not petty distractions. I’m ready for the next chapter.
What possible offering could I make to the world, if I was just so wrapped up in my stuff?